tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20899475268737550632024-03-13T08:38:56.484-07:00Kathy's New AdventureNot to India...A new walk with GodKathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.comBlogger126125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-65740465334722137532013-04-04T18:03:00.003-07:002013-04-04T18:05:54.671-07:00Checking Back In<div style="text-align: justify;">
Life has been full of health changes. I will be writing again, on a regular bases. Sorry for my silence.</div>
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Eternal</div>
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Eternity is the focus</div>
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Our eternal God is with us every moment. At each new step or understanding or awareness, God is with us: In front, behind, above, below, and on each side. Let Him hold you - me - us in His hand. </div>
Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-65149245772624011002012-10-13T11:13:00.000-07:002012-10-13T11:13:44.845-07:00Am I Living Like That?<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">What do people see when they are with me? Do my words and actions point to Him? I love The Lord more than anything, more than I can explain using words. He is with me every second of every day. I owe Him everything.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The Sidewalk Prophets have such powerful songs. The one that I have referred to in the past is Live Like That. It is a very beautiful, challenging song. It always brings me back to realizing that my words and actions are to reflect Him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"What will people say of me, when I am only just a memory. When I'm home where my soul belongs..." I have been blessed with knowing that my life is fragile, temporary, limited. It is true about all of us but my blessing is knowing that I am still on earth because of medications. So, I have spent a lot of time making sure that people know how important they have been to me, and, that God is with me thru this time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Daily reflection makes me evaluate what people saw during the day and did it point to Him. The exciting part is watching who The Lord brings into my day. Sometimes we can be aware of a person needing encouragement but other times we might not know who we have touched. Which then brings me back to what do people see...?</span></div>
Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-17395415006264522592012-10-04T11:32:00.000-07:002012-10-04T11:32:45.666-07:00HIS Glory<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Have you ever been judged when something negative happens in your life? In John 9:3, Jesus was asked about the cause of a man's blindness. Who's sin: his or his parents? Jesus answered that no one sinned. There was another purpose: to glorify God.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Have you ever thought of your difficulties as bringing glory to God? Can you find places in your past where negative events have shown God's compassion, justice, love, and power? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer and kidney cancer, two people told me to repent. One person left a long message on my phone about my sin being the cause of the cancer, which included quotes from Scripture. Another person wrote to me about the connections between sin and sickness along with sending me a Bible. Thankfully, my relationship with the Lord was strong so I knew these people were incorrect. Many blessings were visible to those around me - the beginning of God receiving the glory.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"... this happened so the works of God might be displayed in him... " </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My situation is no different from what you are experiencing. God is right there using your life to glorify Him. All of our temporary situations can be used by our loving Lord. Remember His character when facing something new and you will be strengthened - and it will give Him glory.</span></div>
Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-78499306463574139832012-09-28T12:31:00.001-07:002012-09-28T12:32:19.586-07:00Grace is Necessary<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Our only way to God is by His grace. Remember the "woman caught in adultery"? She was brought to Jesus and He showed her grace. "Then neither do I condemn you...Go and leave your life of sin." (John 8:1 - 11)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Throughout life, we all sin...daily. I don't know why but I was always seen as a "goody, goody". I sinned too but apparently others didn't see my sins. So, when my marriage ended, I had a new label that was very visible. It was embarrassing and sad to see the reactions of those around me. How could God ever use me now? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Grace. He loves me. He accepts me. And then, He gave me a new ministry: single moms. Wow, His grace even cleansed me so that my visible label drew others to Him! Because of His grace, my shame disappeared. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When Jesus sent the woman caught in adultery away, He knew His grace had changed her. She was told to leave her life of sin. We don't see her again in the Gospel of John so I don't have proof that she followed His directive. What I do know is how I responded to His overwhelming grace: it drew me closer to Him and made me want to please Him even more. Grace, His grace, leads to a change in us and leads us to action. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Where has His grace taken you?</span></div>
Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-5379240049012292092012-09-11T20:48:00.002-07:002012-09-11T20:48:52.255-07:00MY Grace IS Sufficient...<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">After having two of the three iron infusions, I am wiped out. After the first one it took two days to feel a little more energetic. This time I am just wiped out. Tomorrow will be the test as it will be day two. Yesterday and today I have slept, eaten, slept, and listened to the news. When I am like this, there is no energy to work on the computer or with my camera.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Still the blessings keep coming: *Kevin's previous sermon wasn't online as they held their service in the park - while searching for a reputable pastor on TV, Dr. Charles Stanley was ending his sermon from II Corinthians 12. He was discussing Paul's "thorn in the flesh" and how Paul learning that in his weakness, God is strong. Wow, just what I needed right then. *Kev and Lu had a very busy Sunday and were going from one event to another. They stopped home to change clothes and Kev came in, patted me on the legs, kissed the top of my head, and asked how I was doing. His gentle touch said, "I love you, Kathy." *One constant blessing is Maggie, the dog. I often thank God for pets. She makes me laugh as she tries to get into rooms that are off limits to her. Then her look says, "How did I get here?" </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Hopefully tomorrow I will post more about HIS grace from the Gospel of John. For now, remember HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT for every situation. I'll end with a quote from my great-great nephew: while celebrating his first day of preschool, he went to McDonald's. As he walked in he said, "I like this place. It's beautiful!" Words of wisdom: check your perspective. </span></div>
Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-38439036411446770132012-08-18T12:48:00.004-07:002012-08-18T12:48:27.401-07:00Jeremiah<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The Old Testament is full of wisdom and encouragement for each of us. As I study John, I take a detour to Jeremiah, Isaiah, I and II Samuel, and other OT books. This week I spent some time in Jeremiah 31. Back in 2008, our single moms' class spent weeks looking at this promised-filled chapter. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Do you know that God promises blessings even in a barren land? Our relationship to and blessings from our Lord are not - cannot - be tied to circumstances. He is an ever-present, ever-loving, pure God. He is available to us every second of every day. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This week, I have been in the barren land because I chose to walk that direction. The Lord kept blessing me anyway: *My debit card had been missing and so I retraced my steps and decided that the only place we hadn't looked was behind the driver's seat in the car. (Long story so I'll skip details.) Kevin found it, but later that night someone broke into the car looking for cash, etc. but, my debit card was safely in my bedroom! *Two days later, my CT Scan came back with no changes since March. What a blessing! Then, *one day later, an offer was made on my town house in Kent, WA. Wow! The Lord was working and blessing me even tho' there was no growth around me. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Why? Because HE is God, faithful, loving, active, alive. </span></div>
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Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-18178556367225148582012-08-08T17:16:00.001-07:002012-08-08T17:16:12.077-07:00Whining<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today, is a whining day for me. Sorry, but I am tired of feeling weak, fatigued, unable to do easy, normal actions. Yesterday, I slept through my nephew knocking on the door and then slept through him calling me on my cell phone. I wasn't even strong enough to sit outside for dinner with their two darling children. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wa-wa-wa! What do I know? I know that the Lord loves me more than I can understand. I know that He has plans for my life. I know that many other people have it way worse than me. I know that He is my Comforter. I know that I have many blessings in my life because of cancer. I know...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...Fix your thoughts on what is true,</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And honorable,</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Think about things that are excellent</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And worthy of praise.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Keep putting into practice all you</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Learned and received from me...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Philippians 4:8 - 9. NLT</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ok, so if I didn't have cancer with the fatigue, I wouldn't be in San Jose to see my nephew and his family, even for a short time. If I wasn't so fatigued, I wouldn't have slowed down enough to write, or to photograph God's creation. I wouldn't be able to spend this quality time with Kevin, Lu, and Ashley. I would not have seen how the Lord designed marriage to be. So, I'll try to change wa- wa-wa to WOW!</span></div>Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-38768528037054510062012-08-06T17:53:00.001-07:002012-08-06T17:53:52.338-07:00Nothing Like HIS Peace<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And the <b>peace</b> I give is a gift the world cannot give.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So don't be troubled or afraid.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Last week was a week of growth for me. On Sunday, I was told of the potential health problems that my son would have. My first reaction was to pray and ask God to let me live and help Tim. "He needs his Mom." </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">By Friday, God had worked me through to truth: when in trials, we need to depend on Him. Wow! My son needs God as He loves more than I can, knows what is best, has Tim's future in His hands, can guide, and give strength. It was an overwhelming sense of peace that came to me. I am not the one who my precious son needs. God is the One Who will surround, heal, guide, love Tim. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">and He turned to me and heard my cry.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He lifted me out of the pit of despair,</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Out of the mud and the mire.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He set my feet on solid ground</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And steadied me as I walked along.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He has given me a new song to sing,</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">a hymn of praise to our God.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Psalm 40:1 - 3a. NLT</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He is so loving, powerful, compassionate, wise, and ever-present. Give whatever is stealing your peace to Him. He will give you a gift that is incomprehensible.</span></div>Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-28907272860101314682012-07-26T20:48:00.000-07:002012-07-26T20:48:13.433-07:00What Good is That?<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Turning to Philip, he asked, <span class="woj">“Where can we buy bread to feed all these people?”</span><span class="text John-6-6" id="en-NLT-26229"><sup class="versenum"> </sup></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span class="text John-6-6">He was <strong>testing Philip</strong>, for he already knew what he was going to do.</span> </span></div>
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<span class="text John-6-7"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong>we wouldn’t have enough money</strong><sup> </sup>to feed them!”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span class="text John-6-8" id="en-NLT-26231">Then <strong>Andrew</strong>, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up.</span> </span></div>
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<span class="text John-6-9" id="en-NLT-26232"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">“There’s a young boy here with five barley loaves and two fish. </span></span></div>
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<span class="text John-6-9"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">But <strong>what good is that</strong> with this huge crowd?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span class="text John-6-9"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">John 6:5 - 9 NLT</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span class="text John-6-9"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS; font-size: small;">As I'm studying the Gospel of John, new thoughts and applications come to mind. The disciples had seen Jesus heal others. He had also turned water into wine. They had <em>daily </em>been with Him. <em>And yet</em>...</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span class="text John-6-9"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS; font-size: small;">I have His Word. There have been many miracles in my life. He has been a constant Source of strength. He has shown compassion and forgiveness. I choose to spend daily time with Him. <em>And yet</em>...</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><span class="text John-6-9">You have access to His Word. Hopefully you have seen His hands in your life. You can choose to spend time with Him everyday. <em>And yet</em>...</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><span class="text John-6-9">One week was especially rough, physically: a pulled muscle, anemia, nausea, headache. Then in one day, I had a nosebleed that got on a white blouse of mine, bladder issues, ending with a rough bout of diarrhea. I became frustrated and asked "how much more?" After mentioning my frustration to my wise brother, I apologized for complaining. "Complaining doesn't do any good. Sorry." "It would be frustrating..." (So, he knows that I need to vent at times.) <em>And yet</em>... </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><span class="text John-6-9">God went before me when I found out that India was not in the plans. He orchestrated (through a dear friend) getting my job back with full benefits. The Lord held me in His arms during the roughest parts of chemo. He carried me through kidney and lung surgeries. He was with me March, 2011, when it appeared I'd had a stroke and lost my thinking abilities. He grieved with me when I had to give up teaching. He surrounded me when I moved to San Jose. <em>And yet</em>...</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><span class="text John-6-9">My - Our relationship with Christ often goes to deeper levels of understanding. Just like the disciples, every step shows us His wisdom, compassion, and power. Just like these followers of Jesus, we have said, "We wouldn't have enough money..." And, "But what good is that...?" Step by step. Day by day. Remember He is always working in us.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span class="text John-6-9"></span></span></div>Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-12377187058611209372012-07-21T21:03:00.003-07:002012-07-21T21:03:45.859-07:00Always Working<b> "My Father is always working,
And so am I."
John 5:17. NLT</b>
<br>As I study John, one of my favorite books of the Bible, this verse stood out to me. It struck me about ten days ago and yet I didn't blog. Now I know why. This verse is a great reminder for those who lived through the horrors in Colorado and for all of us.<br>
<br>In context, the Jewish leaders were talking to Jesus about healing on the Sabbath. Jesus' reply was reminding us that the Father and Son are always working. God is good, loving, full of compassion, ever-present, merciful, listening, and our Comforter. No matter what is happening, we can talk to Him, question, grieve, cry, and later heal.<br>
"MY FATHER IS ALWAYS WORKING,
AND SO AM I."Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-22485873940919596712012-07-11T00:46:00.000-07:002012-07-11T00:46:22.224-07:00Reality or Wishful ThinkingReality: I use my walker to go outside and there will be strong days and weak days.
Wishful Thinking: I still find myself thinking that I can do everything that I used to do.<br>
<br>As we age that becomes the experience of a lot of people. Are there times when you forget your limits? I definitely DO NOT mean to stop trying new recipes, a new skill, improving on a skill or talent. At this time I am referring to physical or even financial limitations.<br>
<br>A friend of mine was telling me a funny story of one thing that she had done which really embarrassed her. She has been waiting for me to tell her the foolish, embarrassing thing that I did. So, here it goes:<br>
<br>As I stated, to get around outside I need a walker. While sitting in bed, I think I can do anything...until I stand up. One day, a deal for a Razor Scooter was in my email and I thought, "I want to try that!" (Yes, laughing is allowed.) Well, I ordered a nice red and silver razor scooter. WHAT WAS I THINKING???!!! I can loose my balance just walking a few feet or turning around. Reality? Hardly.<br>
<br>The beautiful scooter is here and we haven't even taken it out of the box! Everyone has had a great laugh, but, I don't even know who can safely use it. It's too dangerous for me to give it to my nephews or nieces because I don't want them to get seriously hurt. WHAT WAS I THINKING?<br>
<br>What can I learn from this? Probably many things but two main points come to mind: laughing at myself is good - we all need to do some laughing; accept limits. My physical limits, and even financial limits, are real. There are skills which are gone, freedoms I've lost, and changes that we all need to make - one day at a time. Now, it is time to replace those losses with the gains in my life. Adjusting and adapting is part of being alive.<br>
<br>TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5 - 6 NLTKathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-88901757328068502362012-06-19T19:16:00.002-07:002012-06-19T19:23:08.273-07:00God is GoodAfter accepting that negative feelings are part of being human, I have moved forward. The past two days I have gone back to looking at the "half full glass". (Mine is really quite full!) Here is a list of the events and places I have experienced:<br>
<br>. Traveled to Jamaica, Puerto Rico, Columbia as a Campfire Girl - cruise ship<br>
<br>Flown to South Carolina to see my son graduate Boot Camp<br>
<br>Traveled many times by car to Wisconsin and Minnesota<br>
<br> Traveled by train from Seattle to St Paul, MN<br>
<br>Took a road trip with my siblings, two nieces, and a great niece<br>
<br>Have been to the Grand Canyon<br>
<br>Have been to Disneyland<br>
<br>Went to Florida as an evaluator of several schools <br>
<br>Lived in Minneapolis, Seattle, Kent, Eden, ID, and San Jose<br>
<br> Camped in most of western WA state parks<br>
<br>Explored southwestern WA, Oregon coast, Leavenworth, Victoria, Vancouver, Las Vegas,San Antonio, San Diego, Los Angeles, and San Francisco<br>
<br>Have been to 16 states and three countries<br>
<br>There is beauty in all places. As a child while traveling through Montana, Dad would point out the beauty all around us. As a child, it felt like a long, boring state. As an adult I found beauty of all kinds. Perspective! There will always be activities that we won't be able to do and places we cannot go. But, in life, we change expectations and activities according to the "I Cans". For me, the world of birds has broadened and I don't want that to stop.<br>
<br>Psalm 116:1, 5, 6 (NLT)
I love the Lord because he hears my voice...
How kind the Lord is! How good he is!
So merciful, this God of ours!Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-20229497763038227242012-06-18T01:38:00.000-07:002012-06-18T01:41:03.349-07:00Back to the OnionEveryday can bring so many new thoughts and experiences for each of us. It could be the seasonal changes, a new awareness in your neighborhood, an event mentioned in the news, or a photograph.<br>
<br>One lady on Facebook has been posting beautiful pictures of colorful things. Sometimes it is a display of colored cups or a mosaic sidewalk with beautiful colors or a building of multiple colors. Several ideas for photographs came flooding into my consciousness. I'd like to try some of those...do you know how much energy it takes to use a camera? Well, let me just say it was't happenin' anytime soon.<br>
<br>Three years ago a friend and I climbed up the path of Beacon Rock in southwestern Washington. It was beautiful!!! We had so much fun. Looking at a picture that she took of me with a beautiful view as the background I realized that I won't be doing that again. Another layer of awareness and acceptance is falling off my onion. At first it made me sad until I thought about my brother's sermon last week. It was about resisting God's plan in our lives. It is a constant part of being human.<br>
<br>Usually I jump to the positive within a very short time. This month it is taking me longer. The other day, while waiting for my laptop to do what I wanted, I became very irritated. I mentioned this to Kevin and said that I don't know where my resistance is but I have very little patience left. So, we talked about my emotions. I don't like to be negative, impatient, or grumpy. That's not me - or at least who I perceive myself to be. It's a struggle for me to accept that those feelings are ok. I know that they are ok for others, but not for me! Hah! So, I have been resisting the emotions that I feel. It probably takes more energy to fight these emotions rather than acknowledge them and work through them.<br>
<br>Do you feel like you block your own feelings or do you feel like you react to things but can't understand why your words just hurt someone? Your intentions were pure. Or we're they? Maybe you have your emotions figured out but are resisting something else that is part of aphis plan. Look at it through your "glasses of faith" and see if you can trust. My goal is going to be to listen to my emotions, accept that I am human, and work through them. What is your goal?Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-71810786490235407952012-06-08T17:42:00.001-07:002012-06-08T17:45:40.160-07:00Listen<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Mockingbirds can be noisy birds but I never tire of hearing them. Their songs vary and are quite interesting. There is a family of at least three that visit the trees in the backyard. It is fun to pretend what they are saying to each other. The conversation can be fifteen minutes long. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Listening to these intriguing conversations made me think about what God hears in our conversations. Does He listen to noise or beautiful sounds? Does He like what He hears or is it clutter? Like a "mocking"bird, do we repeat negative words or do we choose positive, kind words? We choose what sounds or words come out of our mouths. I do not know how much thought goes into the sounds a bird copies but we are gifted with guides and a brain. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjQnyXmfRZaBEBu1aiiyKusQgQaqm5twHiQOq0iw5rjduoXbqtNQZTmFZOR-nl6xoM3SicFoxqBfd7bANRWTelqS6Yk2xmc0NKgvPAnbctN2GZIlOEpbRlWjU-L8XnHMwk87wYvOUFeW8f/s1600/Male+Checking+Again.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjQnyXmfRZaBEBu1aiiyKusQgQaqm5twHiQOq0iw5rjduoXbqtNQZTmFZOR-nl6xoM3SicFoxqBfd7bANRWTelqS6Yk2xmc0NKgvPAnbctN2GZIlOEpbRlWjU-L8XnHMwk87wYvOUFeW8f/s320/Male+Checking+Again.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">When I am falling asleep at night, I try to have my last thoughts be praise and prayer needs for others. Occassionally, a quick thought or inappropriate word flashes and I quickly ask for forgiveness. I used to say, "Lord, did You hear that? Where did that come from?" Then, I stopped saying that because He naturally can hear it and I really don't want Him to hear inappropriate, negative words. He is Holy! So, now I immediately ask for forgiveness. </span></div>
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<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></sup>Indeed, we all make many mistakes. </div>
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For if we could control our tongues, </div>
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we would be perfect and </div>
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could also control ourselves in every other way. </div>
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We can make a large horse go wherever we want </div>
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by means of a small bit in its mouth. </div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-4" id="en-NLT-30284">And a small rudder </span></div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-4">makes a huge ship turn </span></div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-4">wherever the pilot chooses to go, </span></div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-4">even though the winds are strong.</span> </div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-5" id="en-NLT-30285">In the same way, </span></div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-5">the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.</span></div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-5">But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.</span> </div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-6" id="en-NLT-30286">And the tongue is a flame of fire. </span></div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-7" id="en-NLT-30287">People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish,</span> </div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-8" id="en-NLT-30288">but no one can tame the tongue. </span></div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-8"><span class="text Jas-3-9" id="en-NLT-30289"><span style="font-size: large;">Sometimes it <strong>praises our Lord and Father</strong>, </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-8"><span class="text Jas-3-9"><span style="font-size: large;">and <strong>sometimes it curses</strong> <strong>those who have been made </strong></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-8"><span class="text Jas-3-9"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>in the image of God</strong>.</span></span> </span></div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-8"><span class="text Jas-3-10" id="en-NLT-30290">And so <em><strong>blessing and cursing</strong></em> come pouring out of the same mouth. </span></span></div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-8"><span class="text Jas-3-10">Surely, my brothers and sisters, </span></span></div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-8"><span class="text Jas-3-10">this is not right!</span> </span></div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-8"><span class="text Jas-3-17" id="en-NLT-30297">But the wisdom from above is first of all pure</span></span></div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-8"><span class="text Jas-3-17">...peace loving, gentle at all times...</span></span></div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-8"><span class="text Jas-3-17">willing to yield to others...mercy. </span></span></div>
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<span class="text Jas-3-8"><span class="text Jas-3-17"></span></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">James 3:2 - 6a, 7 - 10, 17 NLT</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I love these verses because they are so visual, but the part that I remember is the wisdom that says we praise and curse with the same tongue. One of my nieces wrote a paper for a college class about cause and effect, specifically about the earthquake in Japan. It was impressive to see how her prayer life and God's Presence just flowed through her words. God must have been smiling at what He was hearing. Just like the beauty of the mockingbird's song, this young lady talked about the fear of waiting to hear from her friend who lives in Japan. Prayer was her choice. I will copy the sweet sounds of the life around me. </span></div>
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<br /></div>Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-3466664885231014992012-06-05T01:55:00.002-07:002012-06-05T01:55:55.378-07:00Peeling My Onion<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The analogy of an onion being like grief is very visual to me. At one point last week, I wanted to write about how big or thick my onion must be - it has so many layers to peel. But, don't we all? In the past three years I have learned so much about myself, family, friends, letting go, and acceptance. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">It has almost been one year since I said "good-bye" to teaching, my town home, the church where I had attended, my medical team, and all that was familiar to me. I had stopped driving during the first two years of this tug-of-war with cancer. Playing the piano, writing, and drawing were difficult because of neuropathy in my fingers (from chemo). Living alone was not happening anymore.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Then, in the fall, the cane came into my life. It has been a great tool for me as my balance is not good. For about a month or six weeks, I have hardly left the house due to fatigue or weakness. How ridiculous! There are tools for that! After pealing more of the layers from the onion, it became a necessary decision to get a walker, wheelchair, or scooter. Friends were able to offer their suggestions and explained their thinking. It was very helpful. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Like my cane, I chose a "fancy" walker because I plan on using it a few years. It has a seat, brakes, cup holder, and bags for carry-a-longs. There is even a spot for my cane. Kevin is so giving and careful to prevent a fall that he has gone on walks with me. (He says that I still need a walking buddy to make sure that I am steady with it. Then I can take it out around the neighborhood alone.) After grieving the loss of specific freedoms, I am now very excited about my walker.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">We peel one layer off the onion, tears come, we accept it, and move forward. Another change or loss and we peel another layer off of the onion, tears come, we examine it, accept it, and move forward. Whether the change is in moving, a new job, physical limitations, a new stage in life, or loss of a loved one, God is there, helping us peel the layer from the onion, holding or steadying us through the tears, and showing the joy on the other side of acceptance. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">If God is for us, who can ever be against us? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span class="text Rom-8-32" id="en-NLT-28110">Since He did not spare even his own Son but gave Him up for us all, </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span class="text Rom-8-32">won’t He also give us everything else? </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span class="text Rom-8-32">Romans 8:31 - 32 NLT</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Our view of "everything else" might have to change some but He is God, Almighty, and Love. Now, for me, my goal is to play the piano everyday. It takes energy! I can play at an easier level for 15 minutes and it is a delight! Peel the layer, grieve, accept, change expectations, and mover forward. What will you do to move forward?</span></div>
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<br /></div>Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-14805447791608412722012-05-22T01:07:00.001-07:002012-05-22T18:48:08.826-07:00Live Like That<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">There is a group, Sidewalk Prophets, who sings "I Want to Live Like That". It is a very powerful song and this weekend was like that for me.
We had house guests for the weekend who are bright lights for the Lord. A single lady and her 19 year old daughter. They have so much joy, and are the type of people who energize others. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Desiree adopted Uminda from an orphanage in Uzbekistan for children with physical impairments. Uminda is was a triathlon in the para-Olympics but injured her back before the 2008 Olympics in China. Now she is trying for London in swimming. Her Mom found out that she has MS just a few years ago. The exciting part of spending time with them is hearing how the Lord has been working in their lives. They are both down to earth ladies and so comfortable to be with them.
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Someone asked Desiree how she copes with the disappointments while in Uzbekistan or here in the US. Her answer was one that I have said, "<b>I know that I am where I am supposed to be.</b>" That is what the Sidewalk Prophets sing: Live Like That, knowing that you are where God wants you to be. If we live like that, we know that all details are worked out because HE is with us. It does not mean that the journey will continue in the same direction we plan but each dip in the road we know Who is in control.
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">You know what I am going to say
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Even before I say it, Lord.
<br />You go before me and follow me.
<br />You place Your hand of blessing on my head.
<br />Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
<br />Too great for me to understand!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS; font-size: xx-small;">Psalm 139:1 - 4</span></div>Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-17658841099868760752012-05-18T17:19:00.000-07:002012-05-22T18:51:29.808-07:00Emotions<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This afternoon has been an interesting, emotional roller coaster. After about ten days of dealing with a sinus infection, I am on the mend. WooHoo! (It really knocked me out.)
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The day for me started with reading part of the first chapter of Philemon. Paul is writing to Philemon about how thankful he is for his love, generosity, and knowledge of Jesus and His people. It made me think about how connected our knowledge and experiences are tied to our relationship to the Lord, which is connected to prayer, Bible reading, and worship. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">When sick, I do not always read my Bible, worship, or spend a lot of time in prayer. I sleep. So, getting back in a routine is exciting to me.
My mind went to the generosity of friends while living in Kent. One of my dear friends gave me a book with statements about cancer and all of the emotions. <i>When You Need to Know Your Strength</i> by Melvina Young. On one of her entries was the following statement:
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Standing at this threshold is scary
<br />Because you don't know
<br />What's behind the door.
<br />But the people who love you
<br />Are ready to take your hand
<br />And walk through with you,
<br />Whenever you are ready.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I could see my loyal friends helping me with everything. Yes, everything! (So did family but I am focusing on my friends in this post.) They were going to walk every step of this journey with me, but I moved to California. I just realized that it probably felt like I had abandoned them! Wow! But, what I see in their lives is God thanking them and blessing them for the two plus years my health often dictated their lives. Three of my friends have become grandparents. One has a renewed friendship with her sisters, daughter, and grandchildren. All have been given a new safety group for Bible study. These are joys because they selfishly, lovingly, and generously obeyed Him. I knew that this peaceful home I've been given is a gift from God, but He allowed me to see that each person in this journey has also received His gifts.
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I always thank my God when I pray for you, Philemon,
<br />because I keep hearing about your faith in the Lord Jesus
<br />and your love for all of God's people.</span></div>Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-10595691908485271062012-05-05T22:11:00.000-07:002012-05-05T22:15:56.850-07:00One Year<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><strong>I waited</strong> patiently for the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> to help me,<br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Ps-40-1">and <strong>He turned</strong> to me and <strong>heard</strong> my cry.</span></span><br /><span class="text Ps-40-2" id="en-NLT-14504"><strong><em>He lifted me</em></strong> out of the pit of despair,</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Ps-40-2">out of the mud and the mire.</span></span><br /><span class="text Ps-40-2">He <strong><em>set my feet on solid ground</em></strong></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Ps-40-2">and <strong><em>steadied me</em></strong> as I walked along.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-40-2"></span></span>Last year, I had healed from lung surgery, a serious reaction to medication - six days in the hospital, and healed from an infection that had spread to my blood stream. It was a physically draining time. The decision was made for me to move to San Jose, CA and live with my brother and sister-in-law. After retiring from teaching and renting out my town home, my belongings were given away or packed up <em>again</em>. In May, I visited San Jose to see my niece graduate from SJSU and check out the bedroom. June was my last appointment with my oncologist, family in Washington, church family, and friends.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-40-2"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Those verses from Psalm 40 were how I felt when the decision was made to</span> <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">say good-bye to my life of 30+ years. After two years of battling cancer, God lifted me up, my feet were steadied. The solid ground was with Kevin and Luann. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">The change was stressful with a lot of grief. To get to the peace and joy, the grief was necessary. Now, I can say that where I am and have been is a gift from the Lord. </span></div>
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<br />
<span class="text Ps-40-3" id="en-NLT-14505">He has given me <strong>a new song</strong> <em>to sing</em>,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-40-3">a hymn of praise to our God.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-40-3">Many will see what He has done and be amazed.</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-40-3">They will put their <em>trust in the </em></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-40-3"><span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;"><em>L</em></span></span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-40-3"><span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;"><em>ord</em></span>.</span></span> </div>
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He gave me a new song and now I need to take action: sing. Sing praises to God for all that He has done. Trust, TRUST, <strong>TRUST</strong>! Our loving Lord is faithful. He listened, heard, and acted. It is fantastic to look back over the past year and see His faithfulness...step after step.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span class="text Ps-40-4" id="en-NLT-14506"><strong>Oh, the joys of those who trust the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span></strong>,</span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-40-4"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">who have no confidence in the proud</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-40-4">or in those who worship idols.</span></span><br /><span class="text Ps-40-5" id="en-NLT-14507">O <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> my God, You have performed many wonders for us.</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-40-5"><strong>Your plans for us are too numerous to list.</strong></span></span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-40-5"><em><strong>You have no equal</strong></em>.</span></span><br /><span class="text Ps-40-5">If I tried to recite all Your wonderful deeds,</span><br /><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-40-5">I would never come to the end of them. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-40-5"> <span style="font-size: xx-small;"><strong>Amen!</strong></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-40-5"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">You take no delight in sacrifices or offerings.</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
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<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-40-6">Now that You have made me listen, I finally understand<sup> </sup>—</span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> Y</span><span class="text Ps-40-6">ou don’t require burnt offerings or sin offerings.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-40-7" id="en-NLT-14509">Then I said, <strong>“Look, I have come.</strong></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><strong><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-40-7">As is written about me in the Scriptures:</span></strong></span></div>
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<strong><span class="text Ps-40-8" id="en-NLT-14510"></span></strong><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"><strong> </strong></span><span class="text Ps-40-8"><strong>for Your instructions are written on my heart.</strong><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Psalm 40:1 - 8 NLT</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-40-8">I do have a new song because He is so loving and faithful. </span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-40-8">He knows what is best.<br />When we know Who is in charge, </span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-40-8">we have peace no matter what the circumstances.</span></span></div>
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</div>Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-25570878574261736762012-04-27T01:09:00.001-07:002012-04-27T01:09:19.577-07:00Worry for Nothing<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">As I continue the journey into the past, there have been feelings that I had forgotten. For one thing the unknown is often worse than when the future becomes the present and then the past. I forgot how afraid I was about radiation. It definitely was not as bad as I expected. Others have had a horrible time because of the location of their cancer. Mine was not bad. But isn't our worry usually worse than the actual event?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Don’t <b>worry</b> about your personal <u>belongings</u></span>, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">for the best of all the land of Egypt is yours.’ <span style="font-size: x-small;">Gen 45:20 NLT</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Belongings are just that: things. What could be better than the gifts from our Heavenly Father?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Now <span style="font-size: large;">don’t worry about a thing</span>, my daughter. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I will do what is necessary, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">for everyone in town knows you are a virtuous woman. <span style="font-size: x-small;"><u>Ruth</u> 3:11 NLT</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">A new situation for Ruth, new country, new life ~ do not worry!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And <span style="font-size: large;">don’t <b>worry</b></span> about those donkeys that were lost three days ago, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">for they have <em>been found</em>. <span style="font-size: x-small;"> I Sam 9:20a NLT</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Often solved before we are even aware of the problem.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">“<span style="font-size: large;">Don’t worry</span> about this Philistine,” David told Saul. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">“I’ll go fight him!”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">... <em>The Lord who <u>rescued</u> me</em> from the claws of the lion and the bear </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong><em>will rescue me</em></strong> from this Philistine!” </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I Sam 17:32, 37 NLT</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Past experience and protection from the Lord showed David that he would be protected. That has been true in my life: the Lord teaches me something from His Word in a less serious situation. Then, He let's me see His work again, in something more difficult. He has "proven" Himself faithful in everything...EVERYTHING. That is why there is peace now even tho' everything about my health is unknown.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Be still in the Presence of the Lord,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">and <strong>wait</strong> <em>patiently</em> <strong>for Him to act</strong>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Don’t worry about evil people who prosper</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">or fret about their wicked schemes. <span style="font-size: x-small;">Psalm 37:7 NLT</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">He will answer our needs, give us protection and joy in new situations, find what is lost, rescue us when we follow Him, and HE WILL ACT! Trust HIM. HIS timing is perfect. We only see a little and He sees the big picture.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Look and review when and how He has shown you His love and faithfulness.</span></div>Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-50008405545203238732012-04-23T23:58:00.000-07:002012-04-23T23:58:18.645-07:00Visiting the Past<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">What a new trip I am putting myself on: going thru my blog from the beginning of 2009. My sister had suggested that my kids might want a copy of my blog. Well, the last two days have not been very good physically. Neuropathy has popped its ugly head out. Between the pain in feet, balance issues, weakness in legs, pain in hands, and numbing in spots, I have not done anything except sleep, eat, drink, use the restroom. Tonight I have begun to cut and paste my blog starting when I was planning to teach out of the country.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Reading each entry as I cut and pasted, has really made me relive all of the events: packing, giving things away, emptying the bottom floor of my town home. Then there was the excitement of being chosen to teach in India. What an exciting time and one of learning to say good-bye. With ten days until I would be going overseas, cancer was confirmed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I have been so blessed and can see even more ways that the Lord prepared family, friends, and me for the "real journey". We've practiced saying good-bye, seeing how the Lord was potentially filling in the voids, and experiencing change and the stages of grief. Each of us, in our own ways, has learned how to accept what comes into our path. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Tonight, this is going to be short but as the week goes on, I will come back and say more about this process of seeing the Lord's hand in every step. He is good!</span></div>
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<br /></div>Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-58588362286738671012012-04-17T15:38:00.003-07:002012-04-18T15:59:50.129-07:00What Do You See? Hear?<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">When I was living in Kent, I'd sleep with the window open and listen to the springtime birds chirping. It was a great way for me to feel alive, feel joy, and feel energy for a new day. One morning turned from beautiful sounds to noisy crows. I got up and looked out the window and saw about a dozen crows begin attacking one crow. That bothered me for a long time, but I then decided that the crow was probably injured. It was interesting how one crow sat up on the roof and called for other crows to come. Then, together, they "attacked" the lone bird. I guess that it is all part of the "circle of life".</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Now, in sunny San Jose, I can hear and see many interesting birds: mockingbird, mourning dove, hummingbird, crow, hawk, geese, seagull, and various types of sparrows. Each one has its own unique sound. It is beautiful and very fascinating to watch them go about their day. Alone, in pairs, or a small flock, the interactions with other birds, the wind, or insects can be time consuming. Many fictional stories can be written about these encounters. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Then, just like in Kent, a crow did something that I did not want to see: he stole an egg from the nest of a mockingbird. This noisy chasing happened over the course of a few hours. The mockingbird would fly close to the crow like it was playing tag. Then the crow would swoop around and be gone. A while later, the smaller bird would fly by and then you'd see the crow. After a lively afternoon, the crow flew by with something in its mouth and the mockingbird right behind it, still "yelling" at the thief.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And then you see the wings, large and beautiful. It soars through the air alone or in a flock. This aggressive bird communicates with others of the same species. The uncomfortable behavior of this survivor is in its interactions with other creatures. Is that what God sees when we interact with others? Does He hear us yelling at a stranger or cursing at a family member? What does He see when He sees you and me? What does He hear when He listens to us?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Love is <strong>patient</strong> and <strong>kind</strong>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Love is <strong>not </strong><em>jealous</em> or <em>boastful</em> or <em>proud</em> or <em>rude</em>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It does <strong>not</strong> <em>demand</em> its own way. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It is <strong>not</strong> <em>irritable</em>, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">and it keeps <strong>no record</strong> of being wronged. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It does not rejoice about <em>injustice</em> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">but <strong>rejoices whenever the truth wins out</strong>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Love <strong>never gives up</strong>, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong>never loses faith</strong>, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">is always <strong>hopeful</strong>, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">and <strong>endures</strong> through every circumstance.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS; font-size: xx-small;">I Corinthians 13:4 - 7 NLT</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS; font-size: x-small;">(If you are reading my blog from outside of the United States, would you please leave me a comment: </span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">where are you, </span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">how did you find my blog, what is your situation? I am just curious. Thank-you!)</span></span></div>
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Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-86613394892155793222012-04-15T01:05:00.002-07:002012-04-15T01:05:46.427-07:00What is Good?<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Blood tests were good. CT Scan showed no change, which is good. (Tumors have remained the same sizes without any growth.) The visit from my nephew, my great nephew, and my great niece was very good. Appointment with my oncologist was good as she continues to get my thinking into reality. (Kidney cancer has no cure. I will not be "healthy" like I want. Target medications that stop the growth of the tumors all have side effects.) Plus, my brother tries to remind me of reality vs desire. Both are trying to help me accept where I am. Grieve what is gone and use the tools and adaptations that will make my life be as productive as I desire. <span style="font-size: x-small;">(Accept - not settle - there is a difference.)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">"Good" is a matter of perspective in the same way that "God is good" has a lot to do with our willingness to see Him at work. We use phrases like "Good News" and "Good Shepherd" and "God saw that it was good" and "every good and perfect gift comes down from God our Father". How do we know what is "<strong><em>good</em></strong>"? Micah tells us:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">...<span style="font-size: large;">the Lord has told you what is good</span>,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">and this is what He requires of you:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">to <strong>do what is right</strong>, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">to <strong>love mercy</strong>,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">and to <strong>walk humbly with your God</strong>.</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Micah 6:8 NLT</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Our Bible tells us so...we - I - need to pick it up and read it so that we - I - know what is good, where to look for God in our lives - my life, and how to measure good vs evil. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">How do I know what is a "good" attitude when it comes to my health? As you know, one of my very favorite passages is Philippians 4:8 - 9: "<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><strong>Fix your thoughts on what is true... honorable...right...pure...lovely...admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you</strong>.</span>" If I read my Bible everyday, talk to God throughout each day, use mercy as my yardstick for treating others, and discipline my thoughts and actions, it will become clear to me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">It is true that I have kidney cancer (or that you are single, childless, jobless, at war, far away from home, misunderstood, in pain, etc.). It is true that there is no cure at the present time. It is true that my activities are limited by fatigue, neuropathy, breathing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">It is true that I will not be teaching in a classroom again. It is true that I will be living in San Jose and not in my townhouse again. It is true...it is true...it is true. But, it is also true and worthy of praise that God meets me daily. He loves me. He has a plan. He knows the plan. He guides me. He has prepared me for this point in my life. And, most of all it is true that <strong>He is good</strong>. "Think on these things" and I will be doing the same.</span> </div>
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<br /></div>Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-78302565177328081922012-04-05T20:27:00.000-07:002012-04-05T20:27:22.858-07:00Tired<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">My body is so tired today...and yesterday. It is worn out from all of the fighting of this disease and the affects of the medications - past and present. My son's comment has been, "But you still have a good attitude." That is 100% the Lord. </span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">As I looked up the word "tired" in the concordance, Isaiah 35 was listed. As I began reading it, there seemed to be a lot of hope and encouragement. This visual passage made me think about Heaven and Maundy Thursday, the Thursday before Easter or the day before Good Friday. Maundy means commandments (humbly serving His disciples, remember His sacrifice). </span></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Even the <em>wilderness</em> and <em>desert</em> will be <strong>glad</strong> in those days.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The <em>wasteland</em> will <strong>rejoice</strong> and <strong>blossom</strong> with spring crocuses.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Yes, there will be <strong>an abundance</strong> of flowers</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">and <strong>singing</strong> and <strong>joy</strong>!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The <em>deserts</em> will become as <strong>green</strong> as the mountains of Lebanon,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">as <strong>lovely</strong> as Mount Carmel or the plain of Sharon.</span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><strong>There the Lord will display His glory,</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><strong><span style="color: #674ea7;">the splendor of our God</span></strong>.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> With this news, <strong>strengthen</strong> those who have tired hands,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> and <strong>encourage</strong> those who have weak knees.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><strong>Say</strong> to those with fearful hearts,</span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><strong>“Be strong, and do not fear,</strong></span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><strong>for your God is coming to destroy your enemies. <span style="font-size: xx-small;"> (Evil, Cancer, Diseases, Hate, Prejudice, Poverty)</span></strong></span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><strong>He is coming to save you.”</strong></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: black; font-size: small;">What hope: an abundance of flowers, singing, joy. As I looked out into the backyard and saw all of the yellow flowers, pink blossoms on the fruit trees, I thought "Lord, I'd like to see one more year of seasons."</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span> <span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">And <em>when</em> He comes, He <em>will</em> open the eyes of the <u>blind</u></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">and unplug the ears of the <u>deaf</u>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The <u>lame</u> will leap like a deer,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">and those who <u>cannot speak</u> will sing for joy!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Springs will gush forth in the <em>wilderness</em>,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">and streams will water the <em>wasteland</em>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The parched ground will become a pool,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">and springs of water will <strong>satisfy</strong> the thirsty land.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Marsh grass and reeds and rushes will <strong>flourish</strong></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">where desert jackals once lived.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">More hope and promises: healing, springs, streams, pools. Needs will be met and water will be in abundance. Thirst will be satisfied. WooHoo!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">And a great road will go through that once deserted land.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">It will be named the <strong>Highway of Holiness</strong>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Evil-minded people will never travel on it.</span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><strong>It will be only for those who walk in God’s ways;</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">fools will never walk there.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Lions will not lurk along its course,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">nor any other ferocious beasts.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">There will be <strong>no other dangers</strong>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><strong><span style="color: #674ea7;">Only the redeemed will walk on it.</span></strong>Those who have been <strong>ransomed by the Lord</strong> will return.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">They will <strong>enter</strong> Jerusalem <strong>singing</strong>,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><strong>crowned</strong> with everlasting joy</span>.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><strong>Sorrow and mourning will disappear,</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><strong>and they will be filled with joy and gladness</strong>.</span> </span> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Isaiah 35:1 - 10 NLT</span></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The Redeemed will walk the Highway of Holiness without fears because we have been ransomed. This brings us back to the events that we celebrate the next four days. And then, we will be crowned with everlasting - ever - lasting - never ending joy! All of our sorrow and mourning will be gone. Sounds like Heaven to me. </span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I may be physically tired but my relationship with our loving, merciful, compassionate, forgiving Lord is strong...because He strengthens me daily. Think on these verses and we will come back to them tomorrow.</span></div></div><strong><br />
</strong>Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-70997796145930837432012-03-28T01:49:00.002-07:002012-03-28T01:52:05.450-07:00In Awe<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">There are times that I turn over in bed or look out the window or look at pictures of creation or look at pictures of smiles, and I am reminded of our loving God. I have a hard enough time taking a picture of beautiful birds and He created them! How did He do that? </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">For three weeks I was blessed with visiting Renton/Kent, WA, Centralia/Salkum, WA, and Salem, OR. Many good friends visited and it was a great time with family: games, laughter, and fantastic discussions. A few of the discussions were about the Lord, the Creator, God. Wow! It was so exciting and I was so in awe of how our Father was working. He does answer our prayers whether it be for others, doors opening, or ourselves...and it doesn't get old. Joy comes every time I see Him at work in others. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">One of the times of joy was when Tim and Rachel drove me to the airport to fly home. We tried to say Bible verses that we knew. It was so exciting to see that they had many verses memorized! The Lord allowed me to see that they do have a Biblical connection. He is definitely preparing me to rest and be at peace. My adult kids will be fine no matter what His timing will be. </span> <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I am in awe of His personal relationship with each of us.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> <strong>God’s way is perfect.</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong> All the Lord’s promises prove true.</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong> He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong> For who is God except the Lord?</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong> Who but our God is a solid rock?</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> Psalm 18:30 - 31 NLT</span></span></div>Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2089947526873755063.post-24521088315711133722012-03-16T18:30:00.000-07:002012-03-16T18:30:29.080-07:00HIS Promises<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">My "birthday buddy" and her sister have been told to get her "end of life respite care". (She is my children's aunt.) Thankfully, her daughter and grand kids lives near her, siblings and nieces are on their way to visit, and she is surrounded with love and prayers. This lovely, single mother has been a hard worker her whole life and, as cold as this sounds, she will be at peace. My prayer is that she is comfortable and that they can relive beautiful, loving, and fun memories. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">My beautiful - inside and out - niece, Jamie, shared this passage with me at dinner last night, Isaiah 45:2 - 3 NLT </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">This is what the LORD says: </span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span> </div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">“<strong>I will go before you</strong>, Cyrus, </div><div style="text-align: center;">and <strong>level the mountains</strong>. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong>I will smash down gates</strong> of bronze </div><div style="text-align: center;">and <strong>cut through bars</strong> of iron. </div><div style="text-align: center;">And <strong>I will give you treasures</strong> <em>hidden in the darkness</em> — <strong>secret riches</strong>. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong>I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, </strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong>the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.</strong> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Can't you hear the Lord saying this? It is full of hope and promise. It is full of love and compassion. It is full of wisdom and knowledge. In these two verses, Isaiah was talking to captives in Babylon, but I think that God was also talking to us - to me - to my birthday buddy. Many times in Scripture, we are told that God goes before us; He makes the path level; He removes barriers; He blesses us. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Our Sovereign Lord does this for us in life and in death. We mourn because of the pending separation. We mourn because of the unexpected events surrounding death. We mourn because of the unknown. We mourn. As Christians, we have hope: the hope of our salvation, the hope of His Presence at <em><strong>all</strong></em> moments, the hope of Heaven. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>I <em>will</em> go before you.</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxFESetq6v5PRwCCQONjl1iWLlb9Qgb_ILAqR9kyar8xcX8DFf2uNesD-nyOZLbb5XriJyfLxflHBsAqWyqa5h0OxQT6cNcwAv_wi8Y-eFXf0pNw8S1MkqJzs5zj1RsOq-Cv-3_kC8IT7g/s1600/RainbowonGround.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxFESetq6v5PRwCCQONjl1iWLlb9Qgb_ILAqR9kyar8xcX8DFf2uNesD-nyOZLbb5XriJyfLxflHBsAqWyqa5h0OxQT6cNcwAv_wi8Y-eFXf0pNw8S1MkqJzs5zj1RsOq-Cv-3_kC8IT7g/s200/RainbowonGround.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391042891267273027noreply@blogger.com0