Half Empty or Half Full?

Starting last Friday has been interesting.  I could say that it has been awful:  got stabbed in the foot with a fork, Maggie took part of my finger with the dog treat, had a migraine, stomach issues, back/side pain.  So, a bad week?

Or, I could say that I completed one Christmas gift, almost done with another, ordered gifts for several other people, and have worked on a puzzle.  I was able to Skype one evening and have received a few pictures of Hawaii sunsets.  One friend mailed a card with a picture of the two of us.  I received a gift from my Aunt Sharon.  And, was able to talk to one of the ladies from New Life Covenant.  So, a good week?

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Philippians 4:4  NIV

And Nehemiah continued, “Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” 
Neh 8:10  NLT

The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.
Psalm 28:7  NLT

Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt,

whose lives are lived in complete honesty! 

 Psalm 32:2  NLT

We can look at the negatives...including the things that we don't have, or we can think about the positives.  I choose joy!  I have to discipline myself to do this but we can:

Finally, brothers and sisters,

whatever is true,

whatever is noble,

whatever is right,

whatever is pure,

whatever is lovely,

whatever is admirable

—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—

think about such things.

Philippians 4:8  NIV

What Do We See?

Last night I was able to Skype with family and friends.  It was so great to see their faces.  We regularly text and sometimes call each other but this was different.  My two-year-old great-great nephew could see me and I could see him.  We connected with each other.  My friends commented about how great it was to see me and that we would have to Skype more frequently.

If we are so visual in our connections with others, how do we relate to God?  He is invisible...or is He?  We have His Word, lessons in His creation (animals, plants, scenery), and the people He created in His image.  I cannot see Him in a body because He cannot be contained.  But, He can be "seen" in His creation.  The more of His Word that is read, the more I can see His characteristics.  The more I learn about His characteristics, the more I "see" Him active in my life.  The more aware of His activity in my life, the more I love Him...and "see" Him.  He is visible to us when we look. 

Inside Beauty

The outside heat is up...

                       so the inside fans are on...

People can be the opposite because it is the inside that produces beauty on the outside.  I've been taught this throughout life and strongly believe it.  But, once cancer became a part of my life, I found myself being self-conscious of my appearance:  bald, hair growing back differently than it had been, weakness so that make-up is often a luxury, and wheelchair/walker in my future.  Not just growing old but physical changes quicker than expected.

This week I was given a picture of a couple from India who were visiting their son at church.  I have known this family for over two years and they have faithfully prayed for me.  In the picture the beautiful couple and I were saying good-bye as they head back to their home.  I looked terrible!  I was wearing one of my favorite outfits - giraffe crops, giraffe shirt - but the top did not have a collar.  (I do not like to go without a collar due to my "double chin".)  At the time I thought that I could branch out and wear collarless shirts.  Ha!  I looked terrible! 

My great-great nephew sent me a video saying, "Hi Aunt Kathy!  Oh.  I love you.  Bye."  In three months he has learned to talk and the video is so cute.  I made one for him that told him "Hi and that I loved him."  I looked terrible!  I recorded it three times and, guess what, I looked the same. 

What I have discovered is that it truly is the inside that matters.  People keep telling me that I look fine, good, healthy.  Why do we see different characteristics?  My family and friends know me, love me, and see the complete me.  That is the way God sees me.  That is where my focus should be:  it is the inside that matters! 

The Lord is my strength and shield.
I trust Him with all my heart.

He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.

I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.

Psalm 28:7  NLT

Emotional & physical strength, shield from negative self-talk, and day to day help.  Remembering Him and all that He does, I can trust His opinion and sing songs of thanksgiving with joy.  Focus on the inside...


Joy

So be truly glad.

There is wonderful joy ahead,

even though you have to endure many trials

for a little while.

I Peter 1:6  NLT

Be truly glad...not just external joy but internal too.  Not joy to appear strong, but deep down inside us.  Why?  "Look at what is happening to me," you say.  How can I be full of joy? 

I'm waiting for my MRI results and may have to wait until Tuesday - five more days.  I'm not good at waiting because I do best knowing what is ahead.  When I know, life moves forward for me.  When I don't know, I have to discipline myself to stay away from "what if" thoughts.  So, I decided to look up verses about joy and found this one: 

                     ~ Be truly glad

                     ~ Wonderful joy ahead

                     ~ Trials to endure

                     ~ Trials for a little while

Isn't our Lord good?  This verse is perfect and just what I needed.  As you know I've been in this waiting pattern many times; all with cancer, relationship issues, other health issues, job interview results, also wait.  Our loving Lord gives us hope:  we'll have problems but look ahead to the joy we will have.  This is all temporary...temporary. 

I love the Lord!  He is loving, compassionate, patient, understanding, ever-present, and forgiving.  Focus on Him and be truly glad because of the relationship He allows us to have with Him.  That is joy!

Hidden Rules

Have you noticed that any place where you spend a lot of time - work, marriage, church - there are hidden rules that take a while to learn?  With the beginning of school for many, I've been thinking about Emerald Park first opening.  I miss the staff, students, parents, culture. 

When we were preparing for the opening of the school, we had a workshop with part of the focus on hidden rules that we'd be carrying from previous schools.  Our wise principal and Connie, the workshop leader, had us rate characteristics that were important to each of us.  WE purposely set up the culture that we wanted.  It was a great experience that taught me a lot.

But, what about Ruth?  Did this brave, compassionate, hard working lady know this?  She was thrown into a new culture that she had only experienced a small piece of during her short marriage.  Naomi walked this journey with her, giving her insight as to their cultures' rules.  She told her about the expectations while harvesting barley.  Thankfully, she was given information as to what was expected.

When we experience new circumstances to our journey, whether it be a new job, a new home, a new school, a marriage, there are hidden rules that each of us need to learn.  We may have "a Naomi" in this new step or we may have to learn them through our observations, but we need to be aware of the expectations and adjust. 

One part to make the transition run smoothly is to remember that we also have hidden rules that are brought to the table.  So, what did Ruth bring to the table?  I'll have to think about that further.

Want vs Best

Tears in my eyes because I physically couldn't make it to church.  A young wife crying because her husband walked out.  A childless couple going through another disappointing month.  Friendships getting strained due to different stages in life.  And yet, Lord, all have been praying to You.  Why?  Are You listening?  Are You answering?  What are You doing in these situations?

Father, I don't question having cancer, metastasizing into both lungs, or reactions to drugs.  But, I really wanted to go to church today.  We talked before I went to sleep.  Every time I woke up in the night, we talked about me going to church today.  We talked about stopping satan from touching my body so that I couldn't go.  We talked...

But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me,

and through each night I sing his songs,

praying to God who gives me life.

Psalm 42:8 NLT

When I stop, think about why my eyes are tearing, and realize that it is just one day, it is easy to go to the Lord again.  He reminds me in His Word that He is listening and loves me.  My disappointment is very little when looking at what others are going through today.  I wanted...He said, "No".  He is the King of my life and so I turn to Him, not understanding the "why" but trusting His kingship and wisdom.

The Lord says,

“I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.

I will advise you and watch over you.

Psalm 32:8

Naomi and Ruth

What a blessing Ruth was!  When Naomi decided to return to her native country, her daughters-in-law started out with her.  Then this wise woman explained to them that they needed to go back to Moab with their families.  That way they would have the possibility of marriage.  Orpah listened and did what Naomi asked.  Ruth continued with Naomi and stated:

“Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back.

Wherever you go, I will go;

wherever you live, I will live.

Your people will be my people,

and your God will be my God.

Wherever you die, I will die,

and there I will be buried.

May the Lord punish me severely

if I allow anything but death to separate us!”

Ruth 1:16 - 17

What devotion Ruth had to her deceased husband's mother.  She had become more than a mother-in-law; Naomi was her friend and Ruth was a loyal friend.  She gave up her family, the possibility of marrying again, her god, and even the possibility of becoming a mother.  Wow!  She was willing to give up her past for her aging mother-in-law.  This loving, brave lady must have known that she would have to take care of Naomi in the years to come.

I can relate to this part of the lives of these two courageous ladies.  In my life at the present, I am Naomi and my loving brother, sister-in-law, niece, and family are represented by Ruth.  We have no idea what is ahead in our new journey but we do know that I will not be this healthy forever.  (Every time I have seen my new oncologist I ask her about my life expectancy.  No one knows - except our loving Lord - but as more information comes in from my tests, I still ask.)  

Knowing that my living with them was going to require more responsibilities for each of them, they still asked me to move in here.  They prayed and knew that this was their new journey as well.  What a blessing they are!  God's gift to me.  Knowing that Naomi was growing older and would require more assistance with each year, Ruth was willing to step up and accept this new journey into a strange country.  

  Wherever you go...weaker, in pain, nauseous,

We will go...

Wherever you live...memory issues, childlike,

We will live...

Each of us is asked by God to give, to change situations, to grow.  What Ruth already had learned was that God, the living, loving Lord, would be with them.  Let's live in that reality together.