False Assumptions

Tomorrow begins week two of what I am now calling Round Two of chemo, different drugs with different side effects. I am also back to reading Job, a book in the Bible about a man who knew God but experienced troubling times. He had great faith because he never doubted the existence or sovereignty of God. But, the conclusions he made of the changes in his life were based on false assumptions. It made me realize that some of my experiences during this cancer adventure have been based on false assumptions too.

The plans to go live in India for two years were hit with the prognosis of cancer which included two and a half years of treatment. I was shocked into a state of "take action" and then the overwhelming schedule of treatments. The way for me to stay positive was to live one day at a time and not look at the next type of treatment. Round One of chemo was very difficult for my body and the "one day at a time" philosophy was the only way for me to survive.

Then came my false assumption: my life is now and will ever be totally consumed by cancer. For two and a half years I will have chemo and radiation. Then I will always live with the tests that will be checking to see that the cancer has not returned. So, again, the "one day at a time" philosophy was good and was also beginning to be bad. I couldn't see beyond the treatments and tests.

My second false assumption was that each round of chemo or treatment would be extremely difficult. My hope had to come from God and His mercy and strength. He has always given me purpose and joy. Now I had to get my mind focused that way.

Thankfully Job has been being a great example for me. The past two days have physically been my best days in the past five months, and all of a sudden I see myself looking to next year. I can envision myself teaching, visiting relatives, writing, and even teaching adults at church again. Wow! I didn't even realize that I had been robbing myself of choices and a future.

During each crisis we may face - abandonment, divorce, death of a loved one, infertility, loss of a job - we probably live with some false assumptions. I bet the phone calls that I have not returned have even caused some to have false assumptions like I do not care or that I am depressed. (It's truly because of lack of energy and regrouping.) Also, what other people say to us can even cause us to make false assumptions about ourselves. Like Job, I need to remember Who God is, what He says about me, His promises, and where I can find the truth. If my thinking leads me to a dead end or a hopeless future, I need to rethink the conclusion. Where is my false thinking or untrue assumption? Where is your thinking faulty? There is hope for each of us.