Yesterday I found out that I have a cancerous tumor in one of my kidneys. It was found because of all of the testing due to breast cancer. Apparently they are not connected and the tumor in the kidney is totally contained - not spreading. Yes it is a blessing...and yet another "hit".
Surgery...different surgeon...different hospital...different cancer...different part...different side...different healing time...overnight stay...chemo postponed... ... ... ... ...
Emotionally I want to scream, "No more!" and yet I haven't even started chemo. Physically I want to yell, "What are you doing, Body?" and yet it is my body that is making all of the positive adjustments. Emotionally I want to cry, "More dependence on others!?" and yet no one is complaining. Physically I want to complain, "More limitations?" and yet this is less restrictive than the last surgery. Reality says, "This is not a major set back!" but it is a shock.
I was just beginning to accept the potential drain that chemo will have on my body. I was glad that I was finally going to have my chemo schedule. I was thankful that all of the scans were completed. I was...I was...I was...
Then faith comes in and says:
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing.
Fix your thoughts on what is true,
and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.
Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—
everything you heard from me and saw me doing.
Then the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:8 - 9 NLT
True? Found early, contained in one place, recovery time should be short. Honorable? The compassion of the oncologist. Right? There are many worse things with which others have to endure. Pure? The Lord's love. Lovely? Giving, supportive, loving friends and family. Admirable? The people surrounding me.
When this bump is put into perspective, it truly does come out as a blessing. How else could I experience God's love in action, and know His loving Presence?
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