Fear???

A lot has happened since I last blogged. I had my first round of chemo. (A round consists of three hours of chemo thru my port, a shot on the next day, and lab work on day 8.) It was a very rough week for me as I was nauseated, etc for most of the time. I have had four types of anti-nausea meds and finally, as of yesterday, an anti-nausea patch. Along with the nausea, I am learning the differences between recovering from surgery, tired, and fatigued. Prior to this I wondered if fatigue was just a word for tired...it isn't. To me, it feels like your knees are going to give out if you remain standing. So that has been the ten days of chemo.

I can live with those side effects, and still laugh, joke, and enjoy life. In the night time, I became fearful of all of the other potential side effects that are poking their heads up: loosing my hair in about seven days (even tho' I know that it won't be a big deal...at first it might be emotional), "chemo brain" becoming permanent, mouth sores, infections, too fatigued to enjoy the holidays. Then I started laughing out loud, "I wrote many Single Mom Sunday School lessons on FEAR NOT!"

“But I said to you, ‘Don’t be shocked or afraid of them!

hair loss, thinking processes, fatigue

The Lord your God is going ahead of you.

He will fight for you,

just as you saw Him do in Egypt.

with rejection, separation, abandonment

And you saw how the Lord your God cared for you

all along the way

as you traveled through the wilderness,

infertility, loneliness, divorce, son in Iraq,

just as a father cares for his child.

Now He has brought you to this place.’

cancer, surgeries, chemo

Deuteronomy 1:29 - 31 NLT

So, why do I fear? I know that the Lord has been faithful to me through every event in life. Why do I fear? I know what He has promised me. Why do I fear? I know better than to worry about the future as it is not in my control. Let's laugh...let's leave the worry to God...let's march on.