Use the Tools

My week has gone from walking 20 minutes a day to having no energy at all.  The church retreat did not happen for me. Normal activities have been a struggle.  Friends and family have been trying for a long time to get me to use a walker, wheelchair, and/or cane.  I also was using a shower bench in Kent but wanted to push myself in my new home.  But, was I?  No, I just did things that did not take much energy. 

We are so blessed to have easy access to the Bible.  Because of that, I keep telling myself that for me to have cancer, it had to go through God's hands.  He didn't cause it but satan cannot touch us unless God allows him to.  (Remember Job 1.)  Keeping that in mind, I know that God is with me in this cancer journey.  He loves me, guides me, strengthens me, encourages me, and is present with me.  That is peace!

So, then, why do I say "no" to things that will help the quality, i.e., mobility, of my life?  ACCEPTANCE.  I must accept the need for a cane or walker or wheelchair.  I must accept that I need it.  I must be able to accept that this might be my life.  I must accept reality.  My thought had been that if I accepted these tools then I would never get stronger.  In reality, the opposite is true.  If I accept the use of these tools, I am more likely to get out, do things that energize me, and be more content.

Today, the bench went into the shower.  The cane is beside me and has been used today.  (Not my cane but one to try.) I am ready to accept that this might be my energy level so I will get going.  God knew every part of me before I was born...even the cancers.  He prepared me, strengthened me, and gave me gifts that could be used now. 

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex!

Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,

as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

You saw me before I was born.

Every day of my life was recorded in your book.

Every moment was laid out

before a single day had passed.

Psalm 139:13 - 16  NLT

Pride set aside, gifts in place, situation accepted.  Here "we" come, cane and all.