Friday, January 22, 2010

Keep Your Eye on the Ball

Growing up in a home where my Dad and brother were active in Little League, and later my son, I heard this phrase a lot: keep your eye on the ball. It would seem obvious that in baseball every player would know this. But, it had to be taught and practiced.

Life has the same rule if we choose to live with a positive attitude while going through times of difficulty. In my situation, chemo has a way of zapping me of energy and focus. My first round of chemo was so harsh that I had to stay focused on living a day at a time but I should have kept the goal (or ball) in mind too. Now with this second round of chemo, I am able to look at the ball: be cancer free for the rest of my life. With that in mind, even if there is a pain or discomfort and still two years of treatment left, I am able to get up and say, "Thank-you for this treatment!" If I stick to it, I will remain cancer free. That makes me move forward while remaining positive.

Anyone who listens to My teaching
and follows it is wise,
like the person who builds his house upon solid rock.
Though the rain comes in torrents
and the flood waters rise
and the winds beat against that house,
it won't collapse because it is built on bedrock.
Matthew 7:24 - 25 NLT
Keep eternity in mind...keep your eye on the goal...keep your eye on the ball.
It must be taught and practiced...
We must listen and follow.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

False Assumptions

Tomorrow begins week two of what I am now calling Round Two of chemo, different drugs with different side effects. I am also back to reading Job, a book in the Bible about a man who knew God but experienced troubling times. He had great faith because he never doubted the existence or sovereignty of God. But, the conclusions he made of the changes in his life were based on false assumptions. It made me realize that some of my experiences during this cancer adventure have been based on false assumptions too.

The plans to go live in India for two years were hit with the prognosis of cancer which included two and a half years of treatment. I was shocked into a state of "take action" and then the overwhelming schedule of treatments. The way for me to stay positive was to live one day at a time and not look at the next type of treatment. Round One of chemo was very difficult for my body and the "one day at a time" philosophy was the only way for me to survive.

Then came my false assumption: my life is now and will ever be totally consumed by cancer. For two and a half years I will have chemo and radiation. Then I will always live with the tests that will be checking to see that the cancer has not returned. So, again, the "one day at a time" philosophy was good and was also beginning to be bad. I couldn't see beyond the treatments and tests.

My second false assumption was that each round of chemo or treatment would be extremely difficult. My hope had to come from God and His mercy and strength. He has always given me purpose and joy. Now I had to get my mind focused that way.

Thankfully Job has been being a great example for me. The past two days have physically been my best days in the past five months, and all of a sudden I see myself looking to next year. I can envision myself teaching, visiting relatives, writing, and even teaching adults at church again. Wow! I didn't even realize that I had been robbing myself of choices and a future.

During each crisis we may face - abandonment, divorce, death of a loved one, infertility, loss of a job - we probably live with some false assumptions. I bet the phone calls that I have not returned have even caused some to have false assumptions like I do not care or that I am depressed. (It's truly because of lack of energy and regrouping.) Also, what other people say to us can even cause us to make false assumptions about ourselves. Like Job, I need to remember Who God is, what He says about me, His promises, and where I can find the truth. If my thinking leads me to a dead end or a hopeless future, I need to rethink the conclusion. Where is my false thinking or untrue assumption? Where is your thinking faulty? There is hope for each of us.