Discouraged?

Study this Book of Instruction continually.

Meditate on it day and night

so you will be sure to obey everything written in it.

Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.

This is my command—

Be strong and courageous!

Do not be afraid or discouraged.

For the LORD your God

is with you

wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:8 - 9  NLT

This is exactly where I was today:  discouraged, confused, disappointed. My trip to spend three weeks in the Pacific Northwest begins this Saturday. I will be with friends and my daughter  in Kent/Renton area for a week, in Ethel/Salkum/Chehalis area for a week with my sister's and niece's family, and in Salem, OR the last week with my son and daughter-in-law. My energy level is so low that I don't know how this will happen.

Yesterday, I felt this way and then Kevin, and later, Luann, talked with me about my concerns. That made me realize that I could go and people would need to come my way to visit. Tonight, Kevin talked with me - and listened - and I am no longer discouraged. He can see the patterns in my low evergy times better than I can.  I don't step back and look at the broader picture. I am not getting worse, the lack of energy just seems to cycle. 

In my head I can easily get stuck on thoughts of the cancer spreading to my brain. That has been one place I'd like to stay cancer-free. A few days ago, I realized that God is there too, so do not waste time worrying about it. As simple as that sounds, it actually helps me to remember His constant Presence. 

Cancer, along with many events and stages in our lives, can be uncertain, a path that turns ahead so that we cannot see what is coming. That is where my faith - your faith - needs to be. Study (before the crisis). Meditate (before the uncertainty comes). Obey His Word (before the path is dark). Then we can be STRONG. We can be COURAGEOUS. We will be FREE from WORRY. We will already know and trust the Almighty God. All of it goes through His gentle, loving hands before it touches us. He has proven Himself trustworthy!

Study His Word...see how God works and what He promises

Meditate on His Word...let His character fill your mind

Obey His Word...He gives us safer, more joy-filled, peaceful ways to live

Waiting

Don't you just hate waiting? Today my computer and all the apps on my phone are giving me the symbol that moves in a circular pattern. Usually while waiting for my computer to do something, I use my phone. Today, both are making me wait! Thankfully, I can still read a book without seeing the wait pattern.

My impatience made me think about two people with whom I've communicated the past few days. One is waiting on a decision about going through chemo again or just letting the cancer have its way.  The other cancer patient is deciding whether to go through surgery or to take advantage of other methods to help his life have the best qualities possible.  Both are waiting on guidance to make the decisions about their health and future. It boils down to quality vs quantity of life. 

For those of us battling cancer, that decision comes up a lot with treatments.  After two rounds of chemotherapy for breast cancer, I called my pastor and told him that I was thinking of stopping the treatments. He prayed with me and then told me that a lot of people that he has known, have gotten to that point.  Then he reminded me that I was halfway through this particular chemo and that after the third round, it would feel like I was going down hill.  He was right and I probably would not be here today, if I had not continued the treatments. My breast cancer has been "silent" for two and a half years.

Waiting and grieving seem to be partners in life and in health issues.  Test. Wait for the results. Treatment. Wait to see if it is impacting the growth of the disease. Grieve the loss of freedom. Or, counseling. Wait to see if it is improving the relationship. Take new steps. Wait to see the impact. And, grieve the loss of what you thought the relationship would be. Or, meet someone new. Wait for him to ask you out. Go out. Wait to see if he asks again. 

My adult life has had a lot of opportunities to practice waiting. During one of the most difficult times of waiting for me I began to read Waiting on God by Andrew Murray. This book had such a huge impact on my faith. If God is in control, then why don't I trust Him? If God has a plan for me, why am I afraid? If God is the main relationship in my life, then why do I worry about the love or acceptance of others? If God goes before, behind, above, and below me in life, what could take me away from Him?  If God...then why? 

Yet I am confident I will see the LORD’s goodness
      while I am here in the land of the living.

 Wait patiently for the LORD.
      Be brave and courageous.
      Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.

Psalm 27:13 - 14  NLT

We all have decisions, information, events that we are waiting to have happen. Technology may always make us wait. Medicine and tests will make us wait. People will make us wait. Even the calendar makes us wait. But, waiting can be turned into hope and a time of growth. Think about it. Reflect on what you do when you have to wait. Is God a part of the process?

Even youths will become weak and tired,
      and young men will fall in exhaustion.
 But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength.
      They will soar high on wings like eagles.
   They will run and not grow weary.
      They will walk and not faint. 

Isaiah 40:30 - 31  NLT

For me, I don't know how long it will take for the R.C.C. to end my life. I do not know if I will be here to see my grand kids. I do not know if I have taught my children everything they need to have a "successful" life. I have grieved about these things and have given them to God. He will let me soar on wings like eagles - here or in Heaven. And, His promises are here for my children too...and you.

Be Like Little Children

Have you ever pictured Heaven? What have you thought would be there? What will make it perfect?  I have been studying what the Bible says about Heaven off and on for several months. After the events of the father and his two young sons, it became an important image for me:  the boys on the lap of the Lord.

  

One day some parents brought their little children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But when the disciples saw this, they scolded the parents for bothering him. Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” Luke 18:15 - 17  NLT

God loves little children.  They are innocent, trusting, dependent, forgiving. They see life as concrete and believe what they are told. Relationships revolve around them.  When in a relationship with a parent, there is love and there are expectations. While watching my great-nephew, he knew that his Mom was going to be available for him and meet his needs. He would enter the room smiling, "Hi, Mom!" "Hi, Grandma!" "Hi, Aunt Kathy!" and he expected each person to smile back at him and answer. He expected love and attention in return for his greeting.

God gives us that: love and attention. When we greet the Lord, we expect Him to listen and hope that He is going to agree with what we are saying. We get His total attention. He is trustworthy. He is forgiving. He is wise and He loves us.  He loves you. He loves me...and His love is perfect! 

Watch children carefully. Think about what they bring to each relationship. Those are the characteristics that we need to bring to the Lord. Then, picture Heaven as the Lord's home where we will sit on His lap and feel His pure love.

 

What Goes In?

If I walk by anyone who has any type of illness, I'll catch it.  OK, that's an exaggeration but sometimes it feels like that.  For those of us with cancer or have had treatments for cancer, our immune system is weak. It is probably the same for others battling other types of diseases. So, now I have a "cold" and have missed church again and Bible study.  

It made me think about my spiritual life and when I am vulnerable spiritually. It had been a rule in our home that what we listen to or watch can get stuck in our minds or what we read can become visible to our subconscious. You have heard, "You are what you eat".  Well, "you are what you watch" and "you are what you listen to" and "you are what you read". What goes in, circles around and around...

A vivid example for me was the horrible news about a father killing himself and two young  sons. Sometimes, I would visualize the horror and be fixated on it.  Yesterday, my first thought went to the Lord holding the little boys in His arms. They are in a violent free, peaceful, loving place: Heaven. I have been reading verses on "Heaven" and so my mind went right to that peaceful place and His loving arms.  What went in did come out right when it was needed.

Books, music, movies, TV, pictures, conversations, articles, all impact our thinking, our outlook. If we live with inappropriate language or subject matter around us "we will catch it". The Lord warns us in Ephesians 6:10 -  17, NLT:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.  

Put on the full armor of God, 

so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, 

but against the rulers, 

against the authorities, 

against the powers of this dark world and 

against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  

Therefore put on the full armor of God, 

so that when the day of evil comes, 

you may be able to stand your ground, 

and after you have done everything, to stand.  

Stand firm then, 

with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, 

with the breastplate of righteousness in place,  

and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  

In addition to all this, 

take up the shield of faith, 

with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  

Take the helmet of salvation and 

the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. 

We are covered, protected, when we listen and do what God tells us. So, the next time I sit down to watch a TV show that is about inappropriate actions, listen to music where the lyrics are inappropriate words or topics, or read a book about inappropriate subjects, I will think about the two boys who are sitting in the Lord's lap. Then I will remember what is "going in will come out" and won't "catch it".

A Joyful Greeting

“But as for me, I will sing about Your power.

Each morning I will sing with joy about Your unfailing love.

For You have been my refuge,

a place of safety when I am in distress.”

Psalm 59:16 NLT

This week I have had three visitors as my brother's family is in Chicago. It has been a great visit and just feels like home: a close friend, my great-niece, and my great-great nephew. The "Little Man" is two, almost three.  He wakes up every day full of joy. "Hi, Aunt Kathy", "Hi, Grandma", "Hi, Mama", all with a smile. He is a great example for everyone and when you see him, you have to smile.

Each morning I want to "sing with joy" about the Lord's love. Our days are so full of blessings from Him. Most days in San Jose, we are greeted with beautiful sunshine but in Kent, we were greeted with clouds a lot of the time. Each cloud was so unique - color, shape, size - that it made me thank God for their beauty and the reminder that each of us is unique. Both places have beauty. The sounds of birds, wind, people laughing or singing, music, or water can bring joy.  Future events or the people that will be seen can bring joy.  All are gifts or blessings from God.

When the greeting each morning from the "Little Man" is so positive and happy, that I wonder if I greet the Lord with the same positive enthusiasm. Just like the Psalmist said, "Each morning I will sing of joy about His unfailing love."  I want the Lord to be greeted just as I have been greeted each day this week.  So, each morning, I will greet Him with thankfulness and joy.