Deal with It!

It has been two and 1/2 years since I was diagnosed with breast and then kidney cancers. At the time, I listened to options, changed my plans about teaching in India, and went ahead with two surgeries (lumpectomy, kidney removal).  I pushed ahead "like a good camper". 

Last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, I got emotional over chemo, its effects, radiation, another surgery, etc, etc, etc. I have this awful sense of survival, meaning push ahead, stay strong, deal with it, all will be fine. It is easy to skip the processing and grieving of what was lost.  Last Monday, I even heard myself say, "But I still don't know why not India." Grief is like peeling an onion, a layer at a time. But, I'd like to suggest that you start allowing feelings to come in (or out) at the beginning.  If you are like me, you always have another set of ears at each appointment. So, then, take time for the word "cancer" (or "divorce" or "foreclosure") to soak in...hear it...say it...feel it. Your friend will hear and write down the details so that you can be objective about treatments.

Someone once told me that if they started to cry, they may never stop. We will. You will. I will. That is where faith, hope, and trust come into the process. The Lord doesn't say life will be rosy if you are a Christian.  He does not say that you do not need to grieve.  He did not say crying means that we have no faith. Jesus cried and felt anger:

When Mary arrived and saw Jesus,

she fell at his feet and said,

“Lord, if only you had been here,

my brother would not have died.”

When Jesus saw her weeping and
saw the other people wailing with her,

a deep anger welled up within him,

and he was deeply troubled.

“Where have you put him?” he asked them.

They told him, “Lord, come and see.”

Then Jesus wept. 

The people who were standing nearby said,

“See how much he loved him!”

But some said, “This man healed a blind man.

Couldn’t he have kept Lazarus from dying?”

Jesus was still angry as he arrived at the tomb,

a cave with a stone rolled across its entrance.

“Roll the stone aside,” Jesus told them. But...

John 11:32  -  39 NLT

If Jesus, our Lord, felt emotions (love, joy sadness, anger) then we can too. Do not just "deal with it".  Feel it, again and again and again.  That is how we heal.